"I bought a cactus. A week later it died, and I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I'm less nurturing than a desert." -Demetri Martin, New York Magazine

ahh. It's summer.

What am I going to do with myself?! I have several options here: I could stay here in Newton and find a job as a waitress, I could move to Salvo and hang out with J all summer and find a job there, or I could dive in head first and find an "grown-up job" in DC. Eh. I don't want to grow-up yet, that isn't any fun. One thing I know is that staying in Newton for the summer sounds like a drag, although living rent free is a pretty rad perk. Why won't someone just flash a large sign with directions to where I'm meant to go written on it!!
Being back in America rocks my socks off. I wanted to kiss the ground when I got off that plane. Don't get me wrong, I loved England and I defiantly am going back but Andy Rooney said it best last night on 60 Minutes, "Where you get to is almost never as good as where you came from". I lived and I learned and now I'm ready for a new adventure. My dad said to make this next adventure more discreet and closer to home, so I will try.

I ran...

fast, as far as I could go.
Without caution, without warrant, without thinking.
Directions where not needed, a compass did no good
Back to where I began...

This is the story...

of three women.
Three women, who started off as children on their journey together. Thinking they knew life, the wind of its ways and the fortune to come. Naive of the surrounding turmoil to come. People passed in and out, quite frequently. But those three, they always remained.
Holidays and quiet spells, came and went, and those three remained there.
Relationships and love came and went, and those three remained together.
Quarrels and crisis, problems and victories arose and fell, but those three women stood strong.
Then as winter grew into spring, one traveled away, left the others behind and made her own way. Then as spring grew into summer the other two split as well. One on her way to where the arch stands tall, the other to where the ocean meets the sand. All leaving behind the love, the quarrels, the holidays, the problems of one small town and three big relationships. All needing something different, something unknown. They no longer feared the unknown, they understood it and welcomed it's dark. An adventure, you could say but a beginning to them.
The end is left open. None of them can see the future, and are not naive enough to pretend they know what it holds. They have learned from their past and grown for their present.
The only thing that all three hope is now, here and forever they can always be bonded together.
Friendship is a funny thing to waste.

Friday's words of wisdom... not from me, of course.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Nelson Mandela

In a world where light catches the dark...

there is a loss of insanity when you lose your way
sane is over thinking, over correcting over analyzing over doing EVERYTHING
insanity is where the truth lives
bits become jumbled and paths become twisted
things lose their shape, their meaning
flowers fade, trees blossom
but you, no you are still grey, faded almost
through a pinhole in the air a light comes
darkened by volumes of hate
pinhole becomes keyhole becomes becomes becomes
light, bright and full and warm
develops, envelopes, creates
one day you can hope for bright.

Where have I been?!?

I ask myself that a lot...

I have been in England for a little over a month now. Things have changed at home, while things have changed here. I won't bore you with the "i miss everyone speech" but it's there. So I guess you could call this period the deconstruction/reconstruction period of my "trip". It's time for a change, with me, with friends, with people who are no longer needed at this point. And then I will welcome in the new.
So.. follow along if you like, it may be interesting, or it may be just a lot of me asking, where the hell have I been.